How Did I Get Here Part II?

I was sitting anxiously in the exam room, as it was taking the NP forever to get the room. When she finally came in the room and examined me, she called for the doctor right away. I knew that was not a good sign and I got a huge lump in my throat. I looked at my husband through teary eyes, knowing something was terribly wrong. I was just thinking how is something going wrong again, how can this happen. The doctor came in and said he saw my bag of water. At that point I just lost it, I could no longer control the tears. My husband started to cry as well. I was just in such disblelief that this was happening. We were told to go to the hospital. While my husband got the car they wheeled me outside. I felt like a train had hit me. It was like I was living a horrible nightmare. The worst part was we were going to the hospital during rush hour, so we were stuck in traffic, which made the trip that much longer. I tried to keep good thoughts in my head, but it was very difficult. I just wanted to know why is this happening again.

We finally got to the hospital and they immediately put me in the trelenberg (sorry the spelling is wrong) position in hopes that the bag of water would receed enough, so they could put a cerclege in. I was also put on antibiotics and an IV. I also got to see my little one on the ultrasound; there she was so beautiful. I could not eat or drink anything, just in case they could put the cerclege in. Well, after 24 hours (at this point I was starving) my cervix was better, but it was still too risky to put the cerclege in. They decided to give me options on what to do at this point. I could stay on strict bed rest and see what happens or I could choose to go into labor. I was thinking labor, what kind of option is that, that would definitely mean I would loose my baby. I had to do everything I could to keep this little one inside of me. I knew that my prospects were not good, but I had to try. What I did not know at the time was that the chief OB basically gave me no chance to carry this baby to where it would be viable. He had told this to my uncle during a conversation a few days later. The reason the chief OB came to this decision most likely was due to my ultrasound results.

I was transfered to the high risk department and was on strict bed rest. Strict bed rest means you do everything in bed, even go to the bathroom. Let me tell you what an experience going to the bathroom in bed is and having someone have to empty your bed pan. I had to learn how to eat and drink on my side or back as those were the only two positions I could get into. They would check your vitals several times a day and I would get to hear my precious baby's heartbeat everyday. It was amazing to hear her heartbeating so much. My mother would come and help me with my sponge baths and wash my hair with waterless shampoo. My husband was there every day after work and would stay the night with me on Saturdays. He was so amazing to me during this time and it made me love him even more. I had my first ultrasound while I was there on the 20th of April. I got to see my perfect little girl. The amniotic fluid was low and my cervix measured at 3.0, but it was 100% effassed. My next ultrasound was in a week, my amniotic fluid level was lower, and my cervix was measuring at 2.6. Things were going fine until Sunday night on May 1st. I started to feel contractions at around 8:00 or so, they hooked me up to the monitor and I was having small contractions. When I first told my husband it feels like I am having contractions, he was like no you are joking. It did feel like a joke after 2 weeks of laying here and everything was fine. I really had to pee and I thought I was peeing, but realized that it was my bag of water, as since it did not have a tear in it, it did not pop like it did last time. I got hooked back up to my IV and received antibiotics and had blood drawn. Then the doctor came in with the wonderful news that I had an infection and that my WBC levels were at 18 very high. So I had to deliver. I was put in the same room as before. I was in extcrushiating pain, got some relief with pain medicine. At 7:45 a.m. on May 2nd I gave birth to my wonderful little girl, who did not survive the birthing process. My husband and I held her for a long time, she was pefect in every way.